Thursday, March 26, 2009

On A Funny Streak

I just decided. Just now. No, literally just this moment to not even feel the slightest twinge about not posting in over a week. Seriously, I do this for fun so it's not going to be a downer to me if I miss a few days. The most important thing to me is to keep up with YOU and pass along something from God's Word or from my day to make you laugh or help you in your walk with Him.

Today, it's going to be something funny again. My ONE OF A KIND mother-in-law (I don't even like to call her that.) e-mailed this to me and I thought it was hilarious. I'm a big fan of Dave Ramsey and I think he would say, "This guy isn't even for real. I mean, he's so out there he's not even breathing the same air as we are." HAH! Enjoy and leave a comment about something funny that's happened to you on the phone with a telemarketer, etc.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )

After they get the fax :

Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'

(What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank: 'That might help...'

Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'

Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Something Goofy

For those of us who have had the pleasure (?!?) of owning both dogs and cats, you will see the hilarious truth in this post. Enjoy (have tissues ready - you'll be laughing so hard you'll cry)!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary....

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity..
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...............

Monday, March 16, 2009

My First Guest Post

My dear sister-in-law Laryssa at Heaven in the Home has invited me to be her guest today. Please be sure and stop by to read my post on Discerning His Body. Here's a little tease to make sure you don't forget...

"It’s exciting to me to be guest posting for my wonderful sis in law today. It’s a privilege! At my blog, Living To Worship, I have written several times about modest dress. It’s so often misconstrued and misunderstood. Ranking right up there in that misunderstood, misconstrued category is healthy living. Isn’t it amazing that something that should be so simple has become so complicated? It seems to be dominated by either harsh, extreme rules that no one can consistently follow, OR such liberalism that all vision of health and chastity is lost. I want to try impart something of the things I’ve learned in my young life (I just turned 26 last Monday, March 9th!) that have helped me to become very disciplined and very free at the same time."

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST!!! Blessings to you.

Friday, March 13, 2009

A Parelli Accomplishment

I'm excited! My sister and I are both avid horse lovers and have been following a training method taught by Pat and Linda Parelli since 2005. February of this year, after MUCH procrastination, we both submitted an audition DVD to the Parelli headquarters for evaluation of how far we've progressed in the program. There are four levels you can complete through the home study program. Today I got my e-mail that on my first evaluation, I'm level 2++ on my on-line savvy! I'll soon be getting my red string and after I submit a DVD for my basic riding skills, I'll get a full level 2 certification which means I get a blue savvy string. You can check out what all this jargon means at the Parelli Website. If you love horses, you'll get hooked too!

P.S. A BIG SHOUT OUT to my sis Laura who also passed her level two online!!!!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I had to share with you my birthday present! My DH took me last night to purchase a corner cupboard that I found on Craigslist for my birthday present. This is a piece of furniture I've been wanting for a long time. Corner cupboards are sort of a tradition to me because my mom and my grandmother ALWAYS had one. My mom still has two! I've always loved how they look and they're so handy. This one was perfect for our space because it's tall and skinny. It fits our little dining area just right and looks great with my heirloom dining table. Let me just take a minute to plug Craigslist - if you haven't been hunting ANYTHING you've been wanting on there first, you're missing out! Anyway, I've already put a few of my treasures in it and will be filling it with more to come, now that I have somewhere to put them! Thanks for stopping by and enjoying my birthday with me!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Walking Miracle The Finale

If you haven't read parts one through five, please be sure to scroll down and read them first. Here is the sixth and final installment of my husband's miracle testimony to the merciful, healing power of our God.

Many things happened in the four months that followed. As I said before, I started exercising in bed, which led to learning to sit up as more of my body began to move. I remember it being the most exhausting experience just to sit upright on the edge of my bed. I later moved from the ICU into the next phase which was full on rehabilitation. I can tell you frankly, that it was much easier being debilitated than rehabilitated. Everyone warned me about it. Telling me to get ready for boot camp. But I thank God for every grueling moment, believe me. It was a huge obstacle getting beyond the ventilator above all else. It took me two and a half months before I was able to breathe completely free of it and it really sapped a lot of my stamina. But, after that was over I was able to move more rapidly to walking with less assistance, and believe it or not, within four months of my injury I was ready to be released. Don't misunderstand me; I was still severely handicapped and not able to care for myself, but by the power and great mercy of God I was now being referred to as a walking miracle. I was completely wheelchair-free and walking with the simple aid of a single-tip cane. I went on to outpatient therapy and soon was able to walk without the cane. I later moved on to higher resistance training and weight lifting etc. As time passes I continue to enhance my abilities, and it's an honor to testify to the saving power of Christ Jesus!
My goal in this writing is to encourage people to receive hope in any situation no matter how impossible it may look, and then beyond that, to establish an unshakable faith that will be able to hook up to the power source of the Almighty. That power is the same yesterday, today and forever. It comes from a savior who is full of mercy and ready to forgive if we are humble enough to sincerely submit our lives to Him

You can hear my precious husband teach more of the truth of God's Word by clicking the link at the top right corner of my blog. Or, just click here.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I've Been Tagged!

I got tagged today by Hannah at Set Apart For The Grandeur Of My Master

The subject of the tag was, "What Did You Learn Today?"

To tell you the truth I was expecting something goofy like, "Name your first pet.", or "What was your favorite song when you were 16?" or something else completely random like that. Then, Hannah hits me with this ultra-deep question and posts a wonderful lesson on what she learned today. WOW!

So, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to analyze exactly what did I learn today.

1) I learned 4 new beautiful songs written by my SIL Laryssa.
2) I learned what a truly remarkable man Paul Harvey was. He will be missed.
3) I learned from Hannah that I should be learning something everyday!

Now I tag my sis Laura at Love Reigns Here to do the same thing. Sis, what did you learn today?

Sunday, March 1, 2009

My Wonderful Sisters

Hey everyone,

Be sure to stop by my wonderful sister's new blog. She's brand new to blogging and is going to be posting about her life as a homeschooling mom and an avid horse lover! Go give her a big welcome at Love Reigns Here.

Also, head over to my SIL's blog Heaven in the Home and wish her a happy birthday! You could give her a great present by buying a little treasure for yourself at her Etsy shoppe. Happy Birthday Laryssa! You are so precious to me.